015 ❖ whatever fresh hell

every week there are things I’ve noticed and want to hold on to at least for another week, and this week it’s…

◆ the knowledge that a haircut, new socks, and fresh undershirts won’t solve all of my problems, but it’ll solve more of them than you’d expect.

◆ the white-hot frustration of knocking a large metal water bottle to the ground, which in the moment made me recoil at the loud clang and frustrated with a stunning but not longer super surprising lack of spacial awareness that, with time and stickers, gives way to a loving appreciation for the dents, a lifelong companion for a hopeless putz in need of hydration.

◆ before we (agreed to publically say we’ve always) hated robots, the “not quite as bad” Spotify robot that merged the musical tastes of myself and three friends, giving way to what, for me, is the perfect combination of punk, hardcore, sad bastard music, happy bastard music, aggressive girliepop, palpable accent music, that which we’d never call them guilty pleasures music, dance pop, indie sleeze, new new wave, old new wave, a different version of Ceremony depending on the week, a band that we all like but won’t quite admit that it’s because they turned into Oasis, and Jelly Roll(?!).

◆ taking my sons to the movies (Minecraft, thanks for asking) and what that seems to mean to W (7) specifically, and the way that I can feel reaching my hand out through the bubble I keep around myself not because I feel particularly repressed but because I feel too much, and decide too little, except of course when I’m deciding to go knuckle deep into the popcorn I bought for him but is the size of his torso, which I tell myself is an act of altruism to avoid him getting a tummy ache but also, like, why wouldn’t I, especially since I’m drinking a stomach settling concoction of 75% soda water 25% ginger ale, the refreshment choice of (elderly) champions, and even though I accidentally bought tickets for the wrong day so I had to panic buy them for the right day when we got there, one row closer than the already very close seats we had, when we lean all the way back and watch Jack Black do that real goofy thing he does, it’s kind of what we all hoped for all along.

◆ ◆ ◆